Most people assume that because those of us who like to be part of the subculture are depressed individuals due to the fact we wear a lot of dark colors, we often like morbid things and etc. Most of us know that is just untrue, some of the happiest people tend to be those who are alternative in nature.
But it isn't completely untrue. I know from experience that Depression is a mental illness that can affect anyone even one of us within the subculture.
How do I know? well I've suffered from depression since I was young, about 12.
For those of you who are lucky enough not to be bothered with depression, I'll describe it to you.
Imagine being happy for weeks, months even. Then one day you wake up, your heart is heavy, you can't help but think of every insult ever thrown at you, you feel like crying but you snap angrily at loved ones,You hate who you see in the mirror, all you want to do is sit on the couch with a tub of chocolate swirl ice cream watching Law and Order: SVU marathons or Wedding shows on TLC.
And those are only the emotional aspect, it can also affect your physical self as well.
Sometimes the thought of eating actual food is sickening and makes your stomach curdle, You don't feel like getting up out of bed so all you do on your day's off is sleep, your eyes are puffy from crying ( I cry alot when I have episodes) You gain weight from what little comfort food your stomach allows (which does not help self-esteem and body image)
These spells of depression can last weeks and occasionally months.
The feeling of hopelessness can be often crippling.
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But being part of the subculture, I know the one thing we as goths hate are stereotypes assumed of us.
However I am making this post because I want to say that just because it is a stereotype assumed of goths, doesn't mean that there are not some goths that are affected by this mental illness.
Bats and Kisses,
Lady Zendra
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| This is me during depression. |
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